Apply the love triangle theory to understand your present and past or future love.
i. Introduction
II. the main body
1. Three Elements of the Triangle Theory of Love
2. Past and present love
3. Understanding the love of the future
III. Conclusion
i. Introduction
Relationships have a lot of influence in human life. Humans are social animals, and through relationships, they can become dignified and grow. Love can be said to be the happiest or most painful experience that can be experienced in human relationships. For this reason, love was treated as important in human relations research, and even though he knew all the strengths and weaknesses of the other person, he was generous with love and devoted to self-realization.
There are so many people in the world. They interact and influence each other. Among those influences, positive feelings arise and love arises. There will be various forms of love as well as the existence of various people. It is not easy to define these different forms of love. As such, it can be said that love is important in human relationships, and Stenberg suggested through a hypothetical triangle that there is a major element in love. We need a process of understanding the types of love because we can enjoy a happy and beautiful life through love. In Sternberg's love triangle model, love is divided into three elements: intimacy, passion, and dedication, and it is said to be perfect love only when the three elements are balanced and combined. Therefore, in this paper, I will learn about the contents and grasp my present, past, or future love.
II. the main body
1. Three Elements of the Triangle Theory of Love
When it comes to love, you think of love between lovers. He's very passionate and dedicates himself to the point where he can even pick stars in the sky for each other. Next, it can be said that the love that parents think about their children and the friendship between friends are also part of love. The word love is so abstract.
Robert Stanberg, an American psychologist, said that the three elements of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy represents the emotional or warm aspect of love, passion represents the motivation aspect of love, and commitment represents the selective or behavioral aspect of love. He presents eight types of love according to the combination of the three components.
The closer the intimacy, passion, and commitment that make up the three vertices of an equilateral triangle, the closer the form of love is, the more ideal love is, the more balanced the three elements are, and the larger the area, the greater the size of love.
The love triangle theory has the advantage of being able to predict the stage in which the love of people in a loving relationship develops, but it has a limitation in that it does not clearly explain exactly at what point in relationship formation these stages develop. However, it is possible to suggest a direction for the members of the relationship to recognize each other's love balance and modify their behavior.
The following are the eight types of love that Sternberg has suggested.
① Pretentious love
It is a love that is lackng in all three components, and it is a false love that is merely a general encounter rather than a love relationship.
② Friendly love
It is the same as the friendship felt in a friend relationship as there is only intimacy.
③ Fanatic love infatuated love
It refers to love with passion, and it is a fire-like love at first sight.
④ Empty love. Empty love
It is a mandatory love in which only intervention exists without intimacy and enthusiasm.
⑤ Romantic love romantic love
It is love that has elements of intimacy and passion.
⑥ Companionate love
Companion love is when there is only intimacy and will without passion.
⑦ Blind love, fat love
It is a love that has only elements of passion and intervention without intimacy, and an unstable form of love that is obsessed with each other's passion and makes decisions before intimacy occurs.
⑧ Complete love consumate love
It is the most successful and ideal love with three elements of intimacy, passion, and intervention. Therefore, it is difficult to achieve that much.
2. Past and present love
In the past, I had a crush on a friend when I was in school. I've experienced numerous love experiences, but there's no more memorable love than you. Although it ended with a crush, it is a very precious and impressive memory and experience to me. It was as if an aura was forming around him and a halo was reflected. I usually talked a lot, but when I went near him, I stuttered and freaked out. Even when I looked in the mirror, I was not confident. I always felt like a fool focusing all my attention on him.
When you fall in love, you experience a unique state of mind. As the saying goes, "Love is a round-trip ticket to heaven and hell," romantic love is like a blue dragon train that makes you experience intense feelings of happiness and unhappiness. The unique state of mind of romantic love is exquisitely expressed in the lyrics of popular songs. When you fall in love, you feel a strong affection that "I can't live without you" and a commitment to "give you all." A selfish human being cannot give something more to his or her loved one, causing him or her to worry. "When love is deep, loneliness deepens," and "when you stand in front of you, you experience smallness." As the saying goes, "A hero becomes a fool coward when he falls in love," romantic love triggers various emotions such as loneliness, inferiority, anxiety, doubt, and jealousy. This is why when you fall in love, the lyrics of a popular song that you don't usually pay attention to are touching your heart and deeply moved.
However, there was not only a heartbreaking crush. I had a friend who had a short conversation through an application on a smartphone and was in a hurry. After meeting him in real life, I developed a strong passion and promised him the future through a few days of dating. It's absurd to think about it now, but that was the case at the time. I didn't see anything else.
It is a love made up of passion and dedication without a deep understanding and intimacy for the other person. Sternberg calls it "fictional love" or "Hollywood-style love."
3.Understanding the love of the future
Korea has the highest divorce rate among OECD countries. In most cases, lovers get married feeling love that is close to an equilateral triangle. However, as time passes and as we get married, the shape of the triangle of love changes. The most common change is a sharp decline in passion over time. As the theory of adaptation of happiness suggests, the pleasure and passion for repetition decrease. Therefore, many couples cool their passion and take on the shape of a triangle of fraternal love with only commitment and intimacy. Passion inevitably weakens with the years, but it can also be maintained for a long time. It is difficult to feel passion for the spouse's appearance and behavior that are repeated every day. Efforts for change are needed to feel new. Sternberg emphasizes the importance of expressing love, noting, "No matter how big and intact love will wither and dry out without expressing love." It is necessary to fall in love with the same person every time for a happy marriage.
Sometimes, the triangular shapes of love that two lovers or couples feel about each other may be different. For example, one person may feel a strong passion for the other person, but the other person may not. It is said that through the graphic analysis of the love triangle, it is possible to diagnose current love and discover what components of love to develop in order to achieve more full love.
Therefore, I intend to take this study as an opportunity to strategically approach the triangle theory through some adjustment. But I know that words won't work out like this. Because by reason, by head, if possible, it is not love.
III. Conclusion
A realistic triangle reflects how lovers view the depth and trend of their relationship, and an ideal triangle reflects the ideal characteristics each individual wants for his or her partner. The perceived triangle reflects how each individual thinks about their partner's perspective on their relationship. If any of these three triangles are inconsistent with the other's triangle, the dissatisfaction of the relationship will increase.
The love triangle theory can provide a direction for members of a relationship to check the balance of each other's feelings of love and modify their behavior in relationships with lovers, friends, and spouses. In a relationship, there is no guarantee that the strength or form of my emotions and the other person's emotions will always be the same, but through the love triangle theory, you can compare the shape of the triangle you perceive and the other person's triangle, and specifically compare what type of discrepancy occurs.
The skills to maintain a good relationship between clients and social workers can only be developed through repetitive true practice processes. And understanding the elements of relationships in social welfare practice can be the basis for acquiring the skills of building and maintaining a good relationship. Following the changing social phenomena in the future, social workers will encounter more complex problems. In order to solve these problems, it seems that efforts should be made to acquire more specialized skills or knowledge.
